Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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