I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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