Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize