Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
