My sheets look like a crime scene.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
