Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
