bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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