would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
