Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
