I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
