dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
