worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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