i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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