Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
