just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
