I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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