Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
