I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
