Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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