The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
