I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
