vagina is talking i cant
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
