I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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