I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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