omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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