I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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