She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
