I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
