is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
