bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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