I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Come see our sink grown plant.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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