you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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