"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
