im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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