break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
