dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize