if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
