she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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