It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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