This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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