I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
