omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
