Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
sex in a hospital.. check
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
