he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
