Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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