the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
