if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
