They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
