i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
