the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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