on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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