That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize