I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
