GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
