I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
